Happy Valentine’s Day
Happy Valentine’s Day, Client. Yours, an Admirer.
Sorry, who is this?
You’re not meant to ask. It’s Valentines’ Day.
But I’m asking.
Oh, all right then. I’m the Agency.
And you’re doing what? Wishing me happy Valentine’s Day?
Because I, well, you know.
I love you, and stuff.
You love me? But you disagree with me all the time.
Not all the time. Just sometimes.
What about that time I asked you to focus on our USP, and you said no?
That was different.
It wasn’t a USP. We’ve been through this. Sometimes we’re right.
But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
Isn’t that a double negative? I thought you people were against that sort of thing.
You got me. Yes, OK. But I do. Really.
Well, if that’s the case, why did you push that last campaign idea so hard?
It was brilliant.
In what sense was it brilliant? Clever, yes. Witty, yes. But where was the branding? Where was the call to action? I’ve got bosses, you know. While you’re off winning marketing awards for clever campaigns, I’m standing in front of the board explaining poor-to-average sales figures.
We seem to be missing something here, OK? Look. Sometimes, I’ll disagree with you. Not everything you do is a USP. Not everything is going to get you national attention.
Fair enough. But not everything you suggest as a marketing campaign, edgily creative though it may be, is going to generate sales.
Which means what’s needed is a meeting of minds. A relationship where the agency recognises commercial realities, and the client listens to sound advice from people who understand.
Oh dear. Sounds like the end of the road, then. I need a client that gives me a free rein. You need a thinking agency rooted in commercial practicalities.
Do you know anyone like that?
You can’t ask me something like that. How can I possibly recommend anyone else?
Go on. It’s over. You said so yourself.
Oh, all right then. You could talk to Forsyth Websper.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Ex-Client.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Ex-Agency.
– Robert Fenner, writer, Forsyth Websper